


Typo In The Group Chat

by Classpectanon



Series: Three Hundred And Sixty Five Ficlets About Homestuck [16]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Drug Use, Gen, Humor, Pesterlog(s) (Homestuck)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-16
Updated: 2021-01-16
Packaged: 2021-03-14 00:13:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 705
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28787004
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Classpectanon/pseuds/Classpectanon
Summary: TT: Ladies, gentlemen, Strider.TT: I regret to inform you all that as of 10 minues ago I have imbibed the following:TT: Benedryl,TT: NyquilTT: And a bowl.TG: Of cereal?TT: Of the finest Devil's Lettuce, Dave, dearest.TT: I predict I will lose coherence in approximately seven minutes.TT: Nevertheless, NaNoWriMo waits for no victim of the common cold.16/365
Relationships: John Egbert & Jade Harley & Rose Lalonde & Dave Strider
Series: Three Hundred And Sixty Five Ficlets About Homestuck [16]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2085684
Comments: 8
Kudos: 34





	Typo In The Group Chat

TT: Ladies, gentlemen, Strider.  
TT: I regret to inform you all that as of 10 minues ago I have imbibed the following:  
TT: Benedryl,  
TT: Nyquil  
TT: And a bowl.  
TG: Of cereal?  
TT: Of the finest Devil's Lettuce, Dave, dearest.   
TT: I predict I will lose coherence in approximately seven minutes.  
TT: Nevertheless, NaNoWriMo waits for no victim of the common cold.  
TT: I tell you this all so that you can bear witness to the continued degradation of my ability to type in a fashion generally recognized by the populace as "legibly". I think it will be great fun.  
GG: oh no! are you okay?  
GG: do you need me to send you some soup?  
TT: No thank you, although I do appreciate it.  
TT: My mother has acquired some matzoh ball soup from the nearest deli. As much as I generall despise her transparent attempts of currying my favor I must admit that it is my favorite kind of soup.  
TT: More to the point, I've never found soup to be any sort of balm to migraine headaches.  
GT: have you tried french onion? :B  
TT: I'll have to notate that one down for later. Perhaps an overwhelming amount of onion stnech will cause my brain to spontaneously unfuck itself, as the scientific term goes.  
TG: stnech  
GT: stnech  
GG: stnech :P  
TT: Guys. Quit it.  
TG: be thankful that this is the first of the many typos you will doubtlessly make tonight that we are going to harp on until the sun goes out  
TG: i do not think it will be humanly possible for us to shut up about whatever you say next  
TT: That's not very encouraging.  
TT: It's almost like you don't want to hear my deranged, drug-addled ramblings as I attempt to figure out the latest chapter of my blockbuster romance-horror-fantasy novel while slowly falling asleep.  
TT: Perhaps next time I'll take an Ambien and satisfy you with that?  
TG: promise?  
GG: whats ambien?  
TG: its like benedryl but about eight times as dissociative  
TG: scientific measurement  
TG: you ever hear about that dude that snorted ambien and went on to bite a guy in florida  
TT: Dave, I'm fairly certain that was bath salts, not Ambien.  
GT: or a zombie virus!  
TT: Possible. I would also expect any zombie virus to exist to egin in flordai.  
TT: It seems like the natural spawning point for the worst rabies varients.  
TG: flordai  
TT: Please cease. This is hellish.  
TT: I have gotten 400 words in so far and I will make it another 600 before I pass out.  
TT: I am the fucking strong.  
TT: My eyes are actively attempting to pull themselves shut but I will resist.  
GG: wait so what does ambien do again? :?  
TT: It's like the other medication I am currently on except it makes you trip balls.  
TG: https://reddit.com/r/ambien  
GG: oh wow!  
TG: basically if you dont fall asleep your brains like fuck that  
TG: and you fall asleep anyway you just have your eyes open  
TT: More or less.  
TT: I CAN DO THIS.  
TT: I AM THE GREATEST AUTHOR TO EVER LIVE.  
GT: jeez, rose, don't push yourself!  
TT: I AM THE GREATEST!  
TT: 700 WORDS.  
TG: are you okay  
TG: have you been possessed by a really loud spirit  
TG: or maybe  
TG: like  
TG: an alien or some shit?  
TT: I'm fine.  
TT: I'm cool, I'm calm, I'm collected.  
TT: 800 words. This is disgusting.  
TT: Here, let me read you a snippet:  
TT: "remebering that someone mentioned something about minerals on mars, mineral rights, and The Moon and proceeding to shoot at the moon all ight."  
TT: Genuine question: is that coherent? I cannot tell right now at this juncture.  
GT: nope!  
GG: uh  
GG: no! not really  
TG: its perfect  
TG: please leave that in verbatim  
TT: Hmm.  
TT: I think, because I no longer have any sensibility about me, I am going to listen to Dave on this one.  
TG: hell yes  
TT: There.  
TT: 1000 slutty, slutty words.  
TT: I am going to pass out now.  
TG: night lmao  
GT: good night rose!  
GG: sweet dreams!  
TG: stnech  
GT: lolololol  


**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading. All views, kudos, comments, and bookmarks are appreciated.  
> [Twitter](https://twitter.com/classpectanon)


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